Love, Mysticism, and the Search for Meaning
Review of Elif Shafak’s "The Forty Rules of Love" (2009)
Elif Shafak’s The Forty Rules of Love (2009) is a novel that tries to do two things at once: tell a modern woman’s story of self-discovery, and reimagine the 13th-century spiritual journey of the poet Rumi and his mentor Shams of Tabriz.
It’s a book about love in all its forms—romantic, spiritual, divine—but more than that, it’s a book about transformation. Or at least, it wants to be.
“Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough.”
Drawing inspiration from Sufi mysticism and Islamic philosophical traditions, the book explores profound spiritual concepts through accessible, lyrical storytelling.
“Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy, or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell.”
Unexpected Connections
The novel unfolds in two parallel timelines.
“The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness.”
In the present, you follow Ella, a middle-aged housewife and part-time literary agent in Massachusetts, who is stuck in a life of comfortable dissatisfaction.
When she starts reading a manuscript about Rumi and his enigmatic companion, Shams of Tabriz, she finds herself drawn not just to the story, but to its author, Aziz Zahara.
Their correspondence shakes the foundations of her seemingly perfect life. Take this birthday letter, for instance:
“Forty is a most beautiful age for both men and women. Did you know that in mystic thought forty symbolizes the ascent from one level to a higher one and spiritual awakening? When we mourn we mourn for forty days. When a baby is born it takes forty days for him to get ready to start life on earth. And when we are in love we need to wait for forty days to be sure of our feelings.
The Flood of Noah lasted forty days, and while the waters destroyed life, they also washed all impurity away and enabled human beings to make a new, fresh start. In Islamic mysticism there are forty degrees between man and God. Likewise, there are four basic stages of consciousness and ten degrees in each, making forty levels in total. Jesus went into the wilderness for forty days and nights. Muhammad was forty years old when he received the call to become a prophet. Buddha meditated under a linden tree for forty days. Not to mention the forty rules of Shams.
You receive a new mission at forty, a new lease on life! You have reached a most auspicious number. Congratulations! And don’t worry about getting old. There are no wrinkles or gray hair strong enough to defy the power of forty!”
The historical thread takes you to 13th-century Anatolia, where Rumi—yes, that Rumi—meets the wandering dervish Shams of Tabriz.
Their friendship is transformative, mystical, and scandalous. Shams challenges Rumi to look beyond orthodoxy, to see love as the true path to God.
“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.”
This is the heart of the novel: love not as sentiment, but as a force that breaks, remakes, and elevates.
“How can love be worthy of its name if one selects solely the pretty things and leaves out the hardships? It is easy to enjoy the good and dislike the bad. Anybody can do that. The real challenge is to love the good and the bad together, not because you need to take the rough with the smooth but because you need to go beyond such descriptions and accept love in its entirety.”
Where Shafak shines
The novel is at its best when it delves into the spiritual and philosophical. The "forty rules" scattered throughout are full of Sufi wisdom, urging you to see love beyond possession, beyond ego.
Shafak also plays with multiple perspectives, shifting between characters to give you a mosaic of viewpoints. Some of these are deeply moving—particularly those of the outcasts and misfits drawn to Rumi and Shams.
The prose is fluid, often poetic, and the historical sections have a dreamlike quality.
“Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you”
What might disappoint you
For a book about love and transformation, The Forty Rules of Love often feels too neat, too simplistic.
Ella’s story, in particular, suffers from predictability. Her awakening—finding love, questioning her marriage, redefining herself—follows a well-trodden path, and her relationship with Aziz lacks real emotional weight. It reads more like a lesson in spirituality than a believable romance. But, at least, she took the steps.
“No matter who we are or where we live, deep inside we all feel incomplete. It’s like we have lost something and need to get it back. Just what that something is, most of us never find out. And of those who do, even fewer manage to go out and look for it.”
Shams, for all his wisdom, often sounds like a motivational speaker rather than a real man. He enters Rumi’s life like a force of nature, but his character sometimes feels one-dimensional—less a person, more a mystical device.
“The sharia is like a candle,” said Shams of Tabriz. “It provides us with much valuable light. But let us not forget that a candle helps us to go from one place to another in the dark. If we forget where we are headed and instead concentrate on the candle, what good is it?”
The “forty rules” are beautiful, but their placement in the story can feel forced, testing your patience, as if the plot exists mainly to deliver them.
“Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.”
The Verdict: Wisdom Wrapper
The Forty Rules of Love is less a novel and more a spiritual guide wrapped in historical fiction. If you’re looking for poetic reflections on love and faith, you’ll find them here. But if you want deep, complex characters or a plot that surprises you, the book may leave you wanting.
It has been translated into multiple languages and has resonated particularly with readers interested in mystical traditions and cross-cultural narratives.
“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practise compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone's back - not even seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouth do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man's pain will hurt us all. One man's joy will make everyone smile.”
Read Next:
Orhan Pamuk's My Name is Red gives a similar flavour of medieval Turkish historical fiction, while The Museum of Innocence captures love, longing, and mysticism with true emotional weight.
Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist has a similar blend of spirituality and fiction with a stronger sense of journey.
In non-fiction, Coleman Barks's Essential Rumi or Carl Ernst's scholarly works on Sufism provide excellent complementary reading.
The more I read Rumi, the more they leave me wanting more..